Waiting For God 02x03 - Daisy Takes Charge
Baines threatens Diana with expulsion unless she removes the partition but they both have more pressing matters to consider as Daisy becomes completely domineering,taking over the home with her ideas and threatening to get current staff sacked. Finally Tom organizes a revolt against her, causing her to leave . . . and Diana to remove the partition.
Waiting For God 01x01 - Welcome to Bayview
Tom Ballard is put in Bayview retirement home by drunken daughter Marion and her weak husband Geoffrey. Many of the residents are very passive but not retired journalist Diana Trent,whose mission in life is to annoy 'the idiot Baines' - Harvey Baines,the home's manager. Initially she thinks Tom is rather dotty but when he tries to organize the residents into action against the home's poor food she knows she has found an ally.
Waiting For God 01x02 - A Trip to Brighton
Diana rows with chief carer Jane for calling her a senior citizen and Tom does his best to ignore Marion and Geoffrey. Diana's niece Sarah has left her Porsche at the home so Diana drives Tom to Brighton in it. Harvey Baines reports it missing and the couple are stopped by the police but explain that Diana has her niece's permission to use it and Harvey is threatened with arrest for wasting police time.
Waiting For God 01x04 - The Christening
Tom is going to the christening of his nephew and wants Diana to accompany him but she is not keen because her arthritis is playing her up. Because she failed to declare it on her application form Baines tries to get her evicted from the home. Tom doctors a 'naughty' photo of Baines to blackmail him into changing his mind but Diana uses her old press contacts to 'persuade' the committee to let her stay.
Waiting For God 01x05 - Fraulein Mueller
Jane wants to become a nun so Baines sacks her and brings in stern German matron Greta Mueller,who is a tyrant and tells Sarah where Diana hid the Porsche. Tom cons Baines into making him the head of the Residents' Association and gets up a petition,which Baines thinks is to get rid of Diana,so he signs it. Actually it's to get rid of Greta,so he is forced to fire her and reinstate Jane.
Waiting For God 01x03 - Cheering Up Tom
Tom really thinks that he won't have to wait for God much longer when he says he is dying and is rushed to hospital. He is discovered to have had a heart attack but he becomes very depressed and talks about suicide, writing 'die on Thursday' in his diary. In order to talk him out of what she believes to be his plan to end it all Diana threatens to join him.
Waiting For God 01x06 - The Psychiatrist
Baines decides that if Diana and Tom are seen to be mentally incompetent it will give him power of attorney over them and end all his troubles,particularly as the home is in financial difficulties. So he refers them to psychiatrist Dr.Darrow,for whom they act out a well-rehearsed pantomine of odd behaviour, leading the doctor to conclude that they are not mad,just a touch eccentric,with unexpected help coming from Sarah.
Waiting For God 01x07 - The Helicopter
With upcoming by-elections Councillor Ferguson is courting the grey vote and comes to the home. At the same time Diana,once a photo-journalist,takes Tom up in a helicopter to take aerial shots of local houses to sell to their owners. Among her shots is one of Ferguson and the Swedish nanny being very naughty on the lawn. This comes in very handy at scuppering Ferguson's plan to support a Japanese spare parts factory being built next to Bayview.
Waiting For God 02x01 - Counselling for the Dying
Following the death,alone, of a resident,Tom puts himself forward as a counsellor to aid and comfort the terminally ill. A new female resident arrives and has afternoon delight with old Basil. Some time later Basil seems to be dying and Tom rushers to counsel him but he is merely suffering from exertion after sex with the lady. However the lady dies and Tom organizes a splendid send-off for her.
Waiting For God 02x02 - The Partition
Tom is depressed because he is missing his late wife but Marion and Geoffrey are not keen to have him home on respite. He turns his attentions to Diana and suggests that they shack up together, a proposition that offends her so much that she has a partition built between their two rooms. Her mood is not helped by the arrival of new resident Daisy,who has a strong personality like herself and with whom she soon clashes,though Tom gets on well with her.
Waiting For God 02x04 - The Thief
Resident Betty claims that her sewing basket has gone missing and Tom and Diana decide to investigate. Not fully believing Betty's story they follow her and Tom intervenes when they see her apparently shop-lifting. Tom is arrested and conducts his own court case,being found Not guilty of theft but guilty of contempt of court. Later Diana recalls that she had the sewing basket all along,having borrowed it from Betty and forgetting she still had it.
Waiting For God 02x05 - Tell the Truth
Tom 's belief that one should always tell the truth offends Jane,who has made herself look glamorous to appeal to Baines and Tom says she looks hideous. He also upsets Marion by telling her what he thinks of her,leading to a big row. Sarah introduces her boy-friend Sam,who is looking for investors for his proposed beauty salon franchise but Diana and Tom suspect he is a con-man and Tom - to make his peace with Marion - 'persuades' Sam to let his daughter run her own beauty salon for free.
Waiting For God 02x06 - The Hip Operation
Diana falls and breaks her hip whilst throwing a brick at the home's incompetent South American gardener. She is taken to hospital where she rows with the Welsh doctor over a hip replacement operation and Sarah,about to marry Sam,comes to visit. Sarah knows that Diana dislikes Sam and wonders if she will try to stop the wedding..or even attend. In the end Diana turns up for her niece's big day, using a Zimmer frame. Marion,meanwhile,is not making a success of the beauty shop and Tom suggests Sam take back the franchise.
Waiting For God 02x07 - Glamorous Grannies
Tom has a bet with Diana that she can't be nice to people for a work. Such untypical actions only lead to confusion. Baines wants to organize a glamorous grandmother contest for the old ladies in the home,the prize being a cruise for two. Since Basil wants to marry Betty,Tom approaches his son-in-law Geoffrey,whose firm are sponsoring the contest to let Betty win, but when Betty gets cold feet and refuses to enter,Diana,having made sure a journalist friend is present to expose any 'fixing' the contest,replaces her and wins. She lets Betty and Basil have the prize.
Waiting For God 02x08 - Foreign Workers
In order to cut costs Baines decides to employ illegal immigrant workers at Bayview. To Diana one incompetent foreigner,the gardener,is enough and, after the residents have staged a protest,order is restored. Tom has been overdoing physical exercise in his efforts to get as fit as Linford Christie and his collapse leads Diana to persuade him to slow down.
Waiting For God 02x09 - Young People
A group of students comes to Bayview and Baines bribes Bob, one of them, into being seen in a compromising situation with Diana. This will enable him,under an old church covenant from the 1600s which was bestowed upon the home,to have her thrown out for immoral actions. As it happens Bob much prefers Marion and goes off with her instead.
Waiting For God 02x10 - The Boring Son
In addition to her alcoholism Marion's fling with Bob becomes the last straw for Geoffrey,who finally decides to leave her. But where can he go? Answer,move in with his father at Bayview but Geoffrey is so boring that before long Diana and Tom are planning to get him back with Marion.
Waiting For God 03x01 - The Funeral
Waiting For God 03x01 - The Funeral Depressed vicar Dennis Sparrow is conducting the funeral of ex-Bayview resident Jimmy but is making heavy weather of the eulogy and later he tells Tom and Diana that he is losing his faith. Geoffrey is back with Marion but their life is far from being a bed of roses and it's suggested Dennis tries to help them sort out their marriage. Not long afterwards Geoffrey announces that Marion and the vicar are now living together in Wales. Baines,meanwhile,is looking for a wife - a plan which involves Jane,though,sadly for her,not as a possible candidate but as a helper.
Waiting For God 03x02 - Two Nasty Children
Waiting For God 03x02 - Two Nasty Children Blaming Tom for introducing Marion to Dennis Sparrow,Geoffrey asks him to baby-sit his two children Skye and Tarquin, but they are little monsters who run rings round them. Fortunately Diana is on hand to put them in their place. Baines decides to try computer dating to find his wife but Jane decides to put her oar in.
Waiting For God 03x03 - Looking for Work
Waiting For God 03x03 - Looking for Work It's April and yet it's still very cold so the residents do not appreciate it when Baines turns off the central heating and suggest the residents go jogging to keep warm. Tom and Diana decide to get jobs to get out of the icy-cold home. Tom gets a job working with Geoffrey but he is such a pain that ,in order to get rid of him, Geoffrey pays Baines to put the heating back on.
Waiting For God 03x04 - Harvey's Fiancee
Waiting For God 03x04 - Harvey's Fiancee Baines meets a girl-friend, Lucy Maitland,at the hunt ball. His mother is coming to visit before going to stay with his sister so Jane poses as Lucy Maitland to put Mother off Harvey's new fiancee whilst Tom and Diana ham it up mercilessly pretending to be Baines' parents talking to Lucy. The result is that Lucy does not stay around and Jane has got her Baines back all to herself.
Waiting For God 03x05 - The Estate Agent
Waiting For God 03x05 - The Estate Agent After she has been accused of selfishness Diana goes to work as a volunteer at a charity for elderly people and takes up the cause of an old lady about to be evicted by unscrupulous estate agent Janet Follett. Diana learns that Ms. Follett is Baines' new girl-friend and she has plans for Bayview which will not go down well with the residents. With a little help from Tom and her media background Diana sets out to expose Ms. Follett.
Waiting For God 03x06 - Scandal
Waiting For God 03x06 - Scandal Resident Dave Cartwright has died and at the wake the drink flows freely amongst the inhabitants of Bayview. Tom and Diana certainly have knocked it back and next morning wake up in bed together. Jane is shocked but Tom suddenly becomes very popular with the ladies in the home's bowling team.
Waiting For God 03x07 - Sabotage
Waiting For God 03x07 - Sabotage Whilst Baines is ecstatic about his new car Tom and Diana plan a little holiday and start a vacation fund. Unfortunately Geoffrey decides to invest the money in the new intensive care wing that Baines is having built for Bayview. When Tom finds out he and Basil show how creative they can be when somebody conveniently leaves a bulldozer lying around and the holiday is on.
Waiting For God 03x08 - Politics
Waiting For God 03x08 - Politics Diana decides that she would like to enter politics and stands as an independent candidate for the Residents' Party. Baines has been asked to stand for the Tories so Tom decides he will have some fun and join in the race too. Diana is forced to stand down when Baines threatens to sack care worker Jenny but Diana makes sure that this is used against him too and his political career is a non-starter.
Waiting For God 03x09 - Sleeping Pills
Waiting For God 03x09 - Sleeping Pills Diana collapses and is rushed to hospital where Baines tries,unsuccessfully to cop off with the lady doctor. Diana,wrongly,gets it into her head that she is dying of cancer and asks Tom to get her some sleeping pills so that she can end it all quickly. For Tom,however,there are limits as to what he will do for his best friend.
Waiting For God 03x10 - Great Aunt Diana
Waiting For God 03x10 - Great Aunt Diana The residents are getting wet waiting for a bus but when it arrives the driver claims that they cannot get on for free for another four minutes as they are too early,so Diana hauls him off the bus and Tom hi-jacks it on behalf of the residents. Later this will come in handy when a very pregnant Sarah arrives, seeking Diana's reluctant help to deliver her baby. Ultimately a girl arrives,unsurprisingly Sarah calls her Diana.
Waiting For God 04x01 - Financial Difficulties
Waiting For God 04x01 - Financial Difficulties Diana is horrified to find that she is unaccountably in the red and goes up to London to cause a fuss,only to discover that all her investments have gone into receivership. Back in Bayview Tom's room is suffering from severe rising damp so Tom comes up with a solution that will sort things out for them both. They will live together in one large room. Diana accepts this but draws the line at being carried over the threshold.
Waiting For God 04x02 - Living Together
Waiting For God 04x02 - Living Together To Jane's disapproval Diana and Tom are now living in sin,or rather together,but already they start arguing,since they can't decide whose furniture they should be using. A new resident, Mrs. Kent from Gwent,arrives. She is withdrawn and nervous so Tom and Diana put on an act of being very happy together in order to bring her out of her shell. As it happens they do get a result - but only when she sees what they are really like.
Waiting For God 04x03 - Living in Miserable Sin
Waiting For God 04x03 - Living in Miserable Sin Living together is not the bed of roses that Tom and Diana were expecting. He criticizes her sloppiness and her funny little ways,such as feeding acorns to squirrels with a sling-shot. She decides to move out and goes to stay with Sarah to be a nanny to baby Diana but this is not her forte. Tom misses her,especially when Geoffrey decides to move in with him again.
