On The Buses (Full Episodes)
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On the Buses. Series 7, Episode 13, Gardening Time.HD
On the Buses. Series 7, Episode 13, Gardening Time.HD There is to be a competition among the bus crews for the owner of the best-kept garden and Jack and Blakey both enter,once Blakey has rid the Butler back yard of all the old rubbish that has accumulated there. It develops into a grudge match with both men trying to sabotage each other's garden,culminating in Blakey's arrest for trying to chop Jack's tree down. In the event, of course,neither man wins the title.
On the Buses S01E01 The Early Shift
Inspector Blake gives Stan and Jack a new work schedule, which has them both working on the early morning buses with no canteen facilities. An unofficial strike takes place at the bus company with no strike pay. Stan takes part in an early picketing protest and a television crew arrives at the bus depot, giving the strike publicity.
On the Buses S01E02 The New Conductor
A new conductor turns out to be a conductress, Iris, whom Stan dates. Despite being middle-aged he does not want his family to know and says he is on a late shift whilst taking Iris to the pub, where Arthur sees them. Arthur and Stan's mum also foil Stan's efforts after he has brought Iris home though he eventually makes up with her.
On the Buses S01E03 Olive Takes a Trip
To Stan's horror Olive gets a job as a bus conductress but she gets sick from the diesel fumes as well as getting stuck in the doors. It is down to Stan to think up an ingenious plan to get Olive off the buses - like saying that she is pregnant.
On the Buses S01E04 Bus Drivers' Stomach
Arthur tells Stan that his stomach pains are caused by his poor diet of greasy chips. Stan tells him his condition is known as the "bus driver's stomach", caused by sitting in the bus cab all day long. After Mum hears Arthur reading out aloud from a book about the seriousness of the condition, she puts Stan on a diet. The bus company has announced that all unfit bus drivers are to be given alternative jobs within the company such as cleaning and maintenance jobs. Doctor Clark comes to Stan's house and assesses him, and later Stan passes the company medical. A colleague of Stan's failed the medical and was promoted to the position of bus inspector.
On the Buses S01E05 The New Inspector
Stan applies for the position of bus inspector after he realises the benefits of him getting extra money. Little interest from others for the position means Stan is promoted to inspector. All Stan's colleagues turn against him because of his position and he is removed from the company's darts team. Stan gives up being an inspector and becomes a bus driver again.
On the Buses S01E06 The Canteen
The busmen run the canteen for themselves after they are dissatisfied by the way the management has run it. Shop steward Jack puts Stan in charge of the canteen. Stan has to find a cook and gives the job to Mrs Sharma, his colleague's wife, after telling Stan that she had previously worked as a cook in a bus depot. The next day, Stan realises that Mrs Sharma cannot speak English and previously worked for an Indian bus depot, not an English bus depot. The Indian food she gives the busmen is not the food they want and upsets their stomachs, so Stan fires Mrs Sharma and gives the job to Olive, who is helped by Mum. However, they are unable to cook anything, with Mum unable to use the electric stove which results in her scorching the bottom off the pan and Olive accidentally putting the fish in the deep freeze, so Stan goes to a local fish and chip shop and buys the food for the busmen there. The management take control of the canteen again after the canteen has lost more money than ever before as a result of Stan's actions.
On the Buses S01E07 The Darts Match
The clippies Iris and Jenny challenge Stan and Jack to a darts match, with bets being placed on the result. Preparations taken by Stan are hampered when his favourite set of darts are found in Olive's stew when he practices at home. Iris arranges a date with Stan to distract him from the match. After the clippies win the match, Stan is forced to abandon his date and take Mum home.
On the Buses S02 E01 Family Flu
When Olive and Mum catch the flu, Stan and Arthur are forced to do all the housekeeping. Stan delays his bus to do the shopping and drops the eggs on the bus floor at the depot, which earns him a scolding from Inspector Blake for storing personal items on the bus. Then Arthur also catches the flu, leaving Stan to do all the work at home. Stan takes the clothes to the launderette while on duty, which lands him in further trouble when Inspector Blake finds the bag. After they recover, Olive, Arthur and Mum decide to visit Aunt Maud and once they have left, Stan catches the flu.
On the Buses S02 E02 The Used Combination
Arthur buys a second-hand motorcycle with a sidecar attached to its side. He is very proud of his purchase, which resembles the motorcycle Stan and Olive's Dad used to court Mum. Stan accidentally breaks the starter and he and Jack are forced to smuggle tools out of the bus depot to fix it. Once the bike is fixed, Arthur takes it on a test run with Mum and Olive. They have to stop far away from home for Olive to use the loo and when she is done, the motor stalls and Arthur ends up breaking the starter again. By fortune, Stan's bus passes by and he agrees to tow the bike, but while doing so, the handlebars break off, forcing Arthur, Mum and Olive to push the bike the rest of the way. At the depot, Inspector Blake finds the handlebars attached to the bus and puts them in the lost property office until Arthur collects them, paying with money he forces Stan to give him in exchange for the trouble he caused. This episode was filmed 23 May 1969.
On the Buses S02 E03 Self Defence
Several bus crew staff have been attacked every Saturday night by drunken yobs who rip their advertisements, steal parts and spray paint obscene graffiti on the sides of the buses. When Stan and Jack are the victims of the worst attack yet, with Stan getting his trousers ripped and being unable to pick up the fish and chips for supper, they refuse to work on Saturday nights. Blakey advertises a self-defence class, teaching martial arts, as an alternate solution. The pair are reluctant to join but soon change their minds, chiefly because two attractive conductresses are also in the class. Inevitably the two men get thrown around by the women, much to Blakey's amusement, but they get the last laugh when they discover that Blakey is no woose either.
On the Buses S02 E04 Aunt Maud
Mum's sister Maud comes to stay for a few days, but her arrival is chaotic right from the start when she brings her big dog, Marcus, who causes chaos on the bus ride from the airport by scaring the passengers, ripping Jack's pouch and eating the tickets. At home, the living arrangements are altered to suit Aunt Maud, with Stan giving up his bedroom for her and sleeping with Arthur, and Olive sleeping with Mum. Maud also asks embarrassing questions about them, such as why Arthur and Olive do not have any children and why Stan is not married. Stan cannot stop fighting with Arthur so he sleeps on the chair downstairs. On Aunt Maud's return journey, she is forced to take the bus again after she misses her taxi, and Marcus has to ride with Stan in the cab when Jack refuses to let him on the bus.
On the Buses S02 E05 Late Again
Stan is unable to juggle his early morning shifts and love life. Stan sleeps through his alarm after having a busy evening with his girlfriend Doreen, and it manages to wake up the rest of the household. Irritated by this, Arthur turns down the volume of the alarm to avoid being woken up, but he leaves it too low and Stan does not hear it either, causing him to oversleep. Jack forges Stan's signature to sign him in for work on time but Stan does not know this and tries to hide that he is late by entering the depot through the toilets. However, he climbs through the women's toilets by mistake, scaring an unattractive clippie and getting caught by Inspector Blake. Stan is forced to work the late shift and Doreen dumps him for Jack.
On the Buses S02 E06 Bon Voyage
Stan and Jack are preparing for the staff holiday to Spain. They tell Inspector Blake about their plan to attract the women there by acting as photographers. They demonstrate on a clippie and Inspector Blake. To improve their suntan, they go sunbathing in the cemetery, but Stan forgets to close the bus door and his uniform is stolen. Stan refuses to drive to the depot wearing only his underwear and so wears the top part of Jack's uniform. Inspector Blake tells Stan that he has to pay for a new uniform, and that the money for it will come out of his holiday spending money. Stan packs for the holiday, weighing every item to avoid excess baggage charges. He is unable to take everything in just his suitcase so he puts his items in his overcoat pockets. Stan is then assigned to drive the bus to the airport.
On The Buses S03 E01 First Aid
Inspector Blake injures his leg when he slips getting off Stan's bus. Their attempts to help him worsen the situation and their first aid box does not help them. A clippie at the depot helps Inspector Blake by giving his leg a massage. Because of the incident, the management decide to hold a first aid test, with those failing it taking up other positions within the company, such as cleaning and maintenance. Stan and Jack are chosen as the first candidates for the test. Arthur helps Stan with learning the first aid information, but Olive interrupts them, trying to coerce Arthur to come to bed as she has had a "glamour bath"; Stan remarks "You didn't stay in long enough". Stan and Jack pass the test, but they are unwilling to help with the delivery of a baby on their bus on a country lane.
On The Buses S03 E02 The Cistern
The toilet in the Butler household is exceedingly old, having been fitted by Stan's grandfather, and now it will not work properly and keeps making funny noises. Stan's efforts to mend it come to grief as he stands on the toilet bowl in order to reach into the tank and the bowl shatters under his weight. The family temporarily have to use Jack's toilet, but soon buy a new one. Unfortunately, they have to carry the new toilet home on the bus and have an encounter with Blakey en route, but manage to get the new toilet home and Stan fits it successfully, only to discover it is too big, and they have to exchange it for a toilet the same model as the old one.
On The Buses S03 E04 Brew it Yourself
Stan decides to make beer at home as a way of cutting expenses. However, the beer turns out stronger than usual and Stan makes the mistake of drinking it before his shift. He arrives drunk at the depot and tries to force himself on a clippie, which attracts Blakey's attention. Blakey orders Stan to take a breathalyser test, informing him he will be sacked if the test finds him drunk. Jack makes Stan eat mashed potatoes to try and remove the beer from his breath. As a final effort, he makes Stan inhale smoke to sabotage the test. Stan manages to fool the breathalyser and keeps his job.
On The Buses S03 E03 The Inspector's Niece
new batch of young girls training to be clippies arrives, with Sally being the girl who turns all the men's heads. Jack and Stan fall for her and both seriously compete with each other for her attentions. Unfortunately, as Stan will soon find out, she has an all too familiar uncle - Blakey. Sally does not like scruffy men, so Stan goes home during his lunch break to shave, wash and have his uniform ironed. Jack wears his floral shirt and matching tie. Sally is attracted to Jack's dress sense. While Jack buys flowers for Sally during his shift as a conductor, Stan drives the bus away, forcing him to run after the bus all the way to the cemetery gates.
On The Buses S03 E05 Busmen's Perks
Stan smuggles paint out of the depot to redecorate Olive and Arthur's bedroom, which Arthur called "unfit for human habitation". He is able to smuggle some paint home, which happens to be green and yellow, the bus colours. A series of mistakes take place during the process: Arthur accidentally forgets to put the hardener in the paint so it takes a very long time to dry, and Olive touches the wall with paint on her hands when going to the toilet in the night.
On The Buses S03E06 The Snake
Jack goes out on a date with Fatima, an exotic dancer who uses a snake in her act but he does not want the snake to go with them so he puts it in Stan's bag. Back at the Butler house the bag appears to move of its own accord before the snakes jumps out, causing general confusion. Jack and Fatima eventually turn up to take the snake away.
On The Buses S03E07 Mum's Last Fling
Chaos ensues when Mum spends all her time with her boyfriend Wilfred, whom she met at the social club, and also works as a conductor at the depot. All the housekeeping money is going towards him and bills are going unpaid. He buys her clothes that would suit a younger woman, like a wig and thigh length boots. She neglects her household chores, meaning that Stan, Olive - a terrible cook as ever - and Arthur have to do them all. Fortunately for them, however, they discover that Wilfred is already married.
On The Buses S03E08 Foggy Night
Mum, Olive and Arthur visit Aunt Maud and take Stan's bus to get there. On the way back Inspector Blake joins them and a fog develops. Stan is forced to stop driving because of the thickening fog. Olive gets caught short and accidentally attracts a cow onto the bus, whilst Blakey gets ditch water in his boots before the fog clears
On The Buses S03E09 The New Uniform
Stan and Jack are chosen to trial the new bus driver and conductor uniforms, respectively, because they are the scruffiest busmen in the depot. They show off their uniforms to the other busmen in the canteen. Whilst they are eating in the canteen, Inspector Blake does his best to keep the uniforms clean. Stan and Jack get annoyed by this and eat their lunch in a nearby restaurant instead, where they meet two Swedish women who think they are pilots because their uniforms resemble pilot outfits. Because of this mix-up, Stan and Jack are happy with their uniforms but the management have decided to revert to the original uniforms because the other busmen refused to wear them. The two women arrive just as Stan and Jack are forced by Blakey to change back into their original uniforms, and are disgusted when they discover their mistake.
On The Buses S03E10 Going Steady
Stan is going steady with Sally, Blakey's niece and her uncle is far from happy with the arrangement. An old-fashioned family tea is arranged, laid on by the Butlers for Sally and Blakey. However,as the tea progresses it becomes evident that Sally and Stan have little in common. She is very critical of some of the things he says,which leads to a falling-out between the two families and the eventual calling-off of the engagement.
On The Buses S03 E11 The Squeeze
The Butler family are feeling the financial squeeze and even have to hide from the milkman,as they cannot afford to pay him. Stan reckons Arthur should sell his sidecar combination but Arthur is not keen so Stan advertises it behind his back, attracting an unexpected buyer - Blakey. However the test run does not exactly go as planned.
On The Buses S03E12 On The Make
Edna, one of the clippies at the bus depot, moves into Stan's room with her large dog, Coco. Stan sleeps in the front room, but he tries to find a way of bringing Edna downstairs in the night without the rest of the family knowing. Arthur knows of his plan and does his best to block him, so Stan barks like a dog to bring Edna downstairs. However she assumes Coco is pining for her and takes the dog into her room. Ultimately Stan ends up dog sitting whilst Edna goes out on a date with Jack.
On The Buses S03E13 Radio Control
At Blakey's behest a two-way radio system is installed in the drivers' cabs,meaning that the depot can hear what is going on in the cabs at all times - not a very popular idea with Jack and Stan. However,when they pull two conductresses,one of whom leans against the radio switch,turning it on, Blakey hears the sweet nothings Stan is telling her and assumes that they are meant for him.
On The Buses S04E01 Nowhere To Go
When the rest of the family are going to stay with Aunt Maud, Stan is hopeful to have the house to himself with girl-friend Suzy. However they take an age to leave and Stan has to repair the sidecar before they can go. Unfortunately his weekend is ruined because the combination goes into a ditch and the family return early.
On The Buses S04E02 The Canteen Girl
Blakey has fallen for Amazonian canteen worker Molly and wants to marry her and go and live in the country. Jack and Stan are not pleased when they see Stewart, the tough new inspector,and are also aware that Molly is fickle and will two-time Blakey. A situation is contrived where the Butler family are aware that Stan has had Molly in his room, after which Blakey catches the two of them snogging on the bus. He is not convinced when Stan says he did it for the inspector's own good and threatens to make his life a misery.
On The Buses S04E03 Dangerous Living
When an article appears to claim that bus crew, by nature of their sedentary work, are prone to a short life expectancy, this gets Mum and Jack worried and, as a consequence, both Jack and Stan have to subject themselves to a routine of physical jerks and healthy living, only to discover ultimately that the article was mistaken.